Tea Time

Afternoon tea isn't really a thing in America. Probably because we eat dinner too early. Or maybe we don't have time to sit around in the afternoon drinking tea. Or maybe we're just not classy enough.

When I was in high school, I decided that I wanted to start having my own tea. After school one day, I made myself a nice big steaming cup and had a few graham cracker squares while reading a book. I felt very pleased with myself until a few hours later I couldn't finish my pot roast and veggies. That's what happens when dinner is at six o'clock. 

Hong Kongers love afternoon tea. Most restaurants, whether Taiwanese noodle places or Italian joints, offer tea sets. But of course chaa chaan tengs (Hong Kong diners) are the place to be for afternoon tea. Now that I eat much later and have very irregular meal times, I head down to the chaa chaan teng by my work at least once a month for afternoon tea. On particularly rough days, there's nothing like deep-fried French toast and ice-cold milk tea to wash your sorrows away. 

Afternoon tea is one thing, but high tea is a whole nother beast (yes, I did write "a whole nother"). Most hotels in Hong Kong are quite willing to take all your money in exchange for a glorified snack. But because I'm a sucker, I do so love that glorified snack.

The first high tea I ever went to in Hong Kong was at the Peninsula, a historic hotel in Tsim Sha Tsui. The muggy heat couldn't dampen my mood as I made my way across Salisbury Road and into the column-filled lobby. I wore a nice dress and new shoes, since I heard it had a dress code. Mom snapped a picture of me as we waited to be seated. It was my birthday, after all. 

I could barely contain my glee when the snacks arrived. They came on tiers, both savory and sweet bites. The scones were tucked into a crisp white napkin with pots of cream and raspberry jam. The tea, normal earl gray for me, was served in a cunning silver tea pot. 

After taking a number of pictures of the food (the camera eats first, you see), I turned around a took a picture of the ornate room. Just as I had turned back to my tea, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned back to find a middle-aged, slightly graying lady behind me. Her face was red, and she was so jittery she almost appeared to be hopping.

"You just took my picture. You did! Took my picture! And I didn't give you any permission to take my picture." 

It took me a moment to catch what she was saying, first of all because her Australian accent was a bit thick but secondly because her words were flying past me like bullets fired from a machine gun. I opened my mouth, trying to formulate some kind of answer, but she wasn't done. 

"I know, I know, you must be a spy. How do we know you're not part of the CIA? The CIA has people all over the world watching us ordinary people, and it's not right. Not fair."

"Ma'am, I'm not a spy." My brain slowly caught up to the situation.  "And I wasn't trying to take a picture of you. I was just trying to take a picture of the room."

"Sure, sure, sure. Well you know what? I have a website where I post pictures of potential spies. Then we, the world, can keep track of you!" She whipped out her phone, aiming it at me. "I'm going to take a picture of YOU and post it on my website so YOU know what it's like. That'll teach you."

Not knowing what else to do, I flipped the Asian peace-sign and smiled for her picture. I mean, it's not every day that you get to be put on a spy website. Gotta look your best. 

Sadly, the lady ran away before I had the chance to ask her for the web address of her website. So if any of you happen to run across it, please do see if you can find me. I'll be the one with the polk dot dress, the scones, and the V-sign. 

Maybe I should just stick to afternoon tea at the chaa chaan tengs. I've never been accused of anything more serious than eating too slowly and taking up space at a table. And for that at least I have a good alibi. The toast is too delicious!